I miss Kiltie Band. I think this is my third Sleigh Ride parody in four years.
Stove League
(to the tune of "Sleigh Ride" by Leroy Anderson)
(New lyrics by Deanna "Marinerd" Rubin)
Just hear those cellphones beeping
As trades are cheapening too.
And all the press is fussin'
In a stove league discussion with you.
Online the fans are whining
As Theo's signing up Drew.
And all the scouts are gushin'
In a stove league discussion with you.
Sign 'em up, sign 'em up, sign 'em up, let's go
It's all a big show
We're giving 'em these contracts full of dough.
Sign 'em up, sign 'em up, sign 'em up, it's lame
Just playing the game.
We're finding a twit who can hit
So the fans recognize his name.
Our roster's full of losers
And beggar-choosers are we.
The 40-man is frozen
with the players we chose in '03.
And when we're feeling braver
We'll try to waiver 'em through.
There's just no sense in rushin'
In a stove league discussion with you.
There's a Krivsky mimic by the name of Flanagan
Signing ancient arms to bolster up the pen again.
Seems the Mariners, Reds, and Orioles will see the biggest flop
At the ticket booths when they watch attendance drop. Plop plop plop.
There's a perfect roster nothing in the world can buy
So we'll trade our soul for someone like Morneau or Dye.
It'll nearly be like a deal pulled off by Bowden or by Beane.
This wonderful plot's what we've got
when the seasons are in-between!
Just hear those cashbags jinglin',
Agents mingling through.
They'll get a deal for Lilly
That'll make you look sillier too.
You should consult a sponsor
If you're choosing Bonds or Alou.
But every batter's crushin'
In a stove league discussion with you.
Sign 'em up, sign 'em up, sign 'em up, let's go
These choices all blow.
We're looking for a catcher who can throw.
Sign 'em up, sign 'em up, sign 'em up, who cares
If we have young players
We'll balance our team with the theme
getting Thomas and Zaun and Stairs!
Our lineup's big on hitters
But not on splitters or curves.
We'll sign a Mirabelli
And he'll catch the hell he deserves.
So now it's time to park it
'Cause this bidding market's a zoo.
There's just no use in thinkin' when
Strike zone's shrinkin' and
Fastball's sinkin' and
Deals are stinkin' when
GM's winkin' and
stove league drinkin' with you.
(crossposted from Marinerds of course, but ever since the RSS broke with Blogger beta I don't know if anyone here's reading that anyway.)
Stove League
(to the tune of "Sleigh Ride" by Leroy Anderson)
(New lyrics by Deanna "Marinerd" Rubin)
Just hear those cellphones beeping
As trades are cheapening too.
And all the press is fussin'
In a stove league discussion with you.
Online the fans are whining
As Theo's signing up Drew.
And all the scouts are gushin'
In a stove league discussion with you.
Sign 'em up, sign 'em up, sign 'em up, let's go
It's all a big show
We're giving 'em these contracts full of dough.
Sign 'em up, sign 'em up, sign 'em up, it's lame
Just playing the game.
We're finding a twit who can hit
So the fans recognize his name.
Our roster's full of losers
And beggar-choosers are we.
The 40-man is frozen
with the players we chose in '03.
And when we're feeling braver
We'll try to waiver 'em through.
There's just no sense in rushin'
In a stove league discussion with you.
There's a Krivsky mimic by the name of Flanagan
Signing ancient arms to bolster up the pen again.
Seems the Mariners, Reds, and Orioles will see the biggest flop
At the ticket booths when they watch attendance drop. Plop plop plop.
There's a perfect roster nothing in the world can buy
So we'll trade our soul for someone like Morneau or Dye.
It'll nearly be like a deal pulled off by Bowden or by Beane.
This wonderful plot's what we've got
when the seasons are in-between!
Just hear those cashbags jinglin',
Agents mingling through.
They'll get a deal for Lilly
That'll make you look sillier too.
You should consult a sponsor
If you're choosing Bonds or Alou.
But every batter's crushin'
In a stove league discussion with you.
Sign 'em up, sign 'em up, sign 'em up, let's go
These choices all blow.
We're looking for a catcher who can throw.
Sign 'em up, sign 'em up, sign 'em up, who cares
If we have young players
We'll balance our team with the theme
getting Thomas and Zaun and Stairs!
Our lineup's big on hitters
But not on splitters or curves.
We'll sign a Mirabelli
And he'll catch the hell he deserves.
So now it's time to park it
'Cause this bidding market's a zoo.
There's just no use in thinkin' when
Strike zone's shrinkin' and
Fastball's sinkin' and
Deals are stinkin' when
GM's winkin' and
stove league drinkin' with you.
(crossposted from Marinerds of course, but ever since the RSS broke with Blogger beta I don't know if anyone here's reading that anyway.)