oh, what i want to know is, where does the time go?

[dr4b]

oh, so here's another thing that pisses me off lately. it seems like i never get to just, like, hang out with people anymore. there's just so many things i feel i want to do, like shopping with random people, or watching movies, or playing video games, or sitting around and talking, etc. and it just seems like there's no time left to do any of it. i mean, i do that a little bit, but it feels so scheduled. like i play a lot of D&D, but that doesn't really count, does it? and i go to sunday dinner, but again, that feels like a scheduled thing. for some reason it seems that no matter how much time i try to set aside to spend with eli, that's not enough, either. but if i try to think of who i've been hanging out with and all, it hasn't been anyone. i've just been working, going to scheduled things, or being at home.

there are all these things it feels like i need to schedule. like shopping with sally and erin, or clubbing with laura, or watching anime with anyone, or going to phantom with deryck so we can buy minis for D&D, or playing bridge with drew and whoever, or going dancing again, or playing more ddr and stuff, or just basically seeing the interesting people in my life. blah.

the loss of college-style dorm-hopping and hangouts is really getting to me sometimes. what i wouldn't give to be four years younger and still in college. sigh.

Comments

[ironangel]

well, I wouldn't want to be 4 years younger - I was still a wee bit unstable then.

but I would like to back to academia. I keep hoping someday ben will decide to become a professor. then I could study music, and we could live ina small apartment with 2 cats and a dog...*grin*

I felt like you do when I moved to MA - everyhting is so far away! no more convenient bus ride or nice walk to campus to do stuff. everything is half an hour away in MA.

add to that the fact that I am effectively living in 2 places....*sigh*

[dr4b]

why are you living in two places?

actually, i can still walk to work and to campus. (i live up on craig street, a block from fifth) it's just that my lifestyle feels different. like if i always spend my evenings on campus playing board games and videogames and hanging out with my random undergrad friends, not only do i start feeling old after a while of it but eli also sort of gets sad that i keep coming home so very late. on the other hand i haven't had an evening of just hanging out on campus in a week or two. and i'm thinking that unlike past years of "no really, this is my last year of doing this", i'm pushing it now. the people who were freshmen when i was a fifth-year senior are now seniors, and much as some of them are my very dearest friends, when they leave it'll be like my eighth year of watching people leave. i don't have the time or energy to keep making new friends to fill in the gaps, so pittsburgh just keeps getting lonelier and lonelier.

this post sounds sad, but it isn't. on the other hand i think i need to seize the year and do as much fun stuff as i can, because next year we'll probly either leave pittsburgh or at least have to drastically change lifestyles, since Eli's supposed to get his PhD in the next few months...