Baseball filk (kinda) - Fugue for Vendors
Heh heh. This is a first draft. Imagine, if you will, what it would be like if a bunch of vendors at a baseball game all came out to the top of the stairs at once and pretended they were actually in a musical...
(to the tune of "Fugue for Tinhorns" from Guys and Dolls)
BEER VENDOR:
I got yer drink right here
I think the answer's clear
You need a nice cold overpriced can of beer.
Bud lite, Bud lite, you know that it tastes so right
So drink three of them tonight, Bud lite, bud lite.
For just a buck or two
You need a tasty brew
I've got your Coors, Sam Adams, and Red Hook too
Ice cold, ice cold, it looks just like liquid gold
Can't count all the beer I've sold, ice cold, ice cold.
PEANUT VENDOR (starts singing in the middle of BEER VENDOR's verse):
I've also got some snacks
Peanuts and Cracker Jacks
They'll give you corn to crunch or nice shells to crack,
Four bucks, four bucks, watch out as the usher ducks,
'Cause my throwing really sucks, four bucks, four bucks
I gotcher baseball food
You know you're in the mood
To eat some hotdogs, sausages, freshly stewed
Foot long, foot long, just listen to my old song,
you know that you can't go wrong, foot long, foot long.
SODA VENDOR (starts in the middle of both):
You want your thirst to stop?
You need some soda pop
It even comes in this souvenir plastic cup.
And for your family
You buy another three
Or all your kids will whine that they are thirsty
It's not my fault it's hot
But with the drinks I've got
I'm pretty sure that they will all hit the spot,
TOGETHER:
Cracker Jack, Soda pop, Can of beer...
I got your food... right... here!
(to the tune of "Fugue for Tinhorns" from Guys and Dolls)
BEER VENDOR:
I got yer drink right here
I think the answer's clear
You need a nice cold overpriced can of beer.
Bud lite, Bud lite, you know that it tastes so right
So drink three of them tonight, Bud lite, bud lite.
For just a buck or two
You need a tasty brew
I've got your Coors, Sam Adams, and Red Hook too
Ice cold, ice cold, it looks just like liquid gold
Can't count all the beer I've sold, ice cold, ice cold.
PEANUT VENDOR (starts singing in the middle of BEER VENDOR's verse):
I've also got some snacks
Peanuts and Cracker Jacks
They'll give you corn to crunch or nice shells to crack,
Four bucks, four bucks, watch out as the usher ducks,
'Cause my throwing really sucks, four bucks, four bucks
I gotcher baseball food
You know you're in the mood
To eat some hotdogs, sausages, freshly stewed
Foot long, foot long, just listen to my old song,
you know that you can't go wrong, foot long, foot long.
SODA VENDOR (starts in the middle of both):
You want your thirst to stop?
You need some soda pop
It even comes in this souvenir plastic cup.
And for your family
You buy another three
Or all your kids will whine that they are thirsty
It's not my fault it's hot
But with the drinks I've got
I'm pretty sure that they will all hit the spot,
TOGETHER:
Cracker Jack, Soda pop, Can of beer...
I got your food... right... here!
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