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whee
Funny. A year ago, on September 1st at 2pm, I was about an hour into the sky on my way to Japan for a week.
The more disconnected I feel here, the more I wonder if I should seriously look into spending some significant time living and working over there. I don't think I'd want to teach English though, so I'll have to come up with something else.
I think too much for my own good.
The more disconnected I feel here, the more I wonder if I should seriously look into spending some significant time living and working over there. I don't think I'd want to teach English though, so I'll have to come up with something else.
I think too much for my own good.
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I think feeling disconnected is something more of a state of internal being than it is a state of situational being. While i think that working in Japan may be exciting and good for you, i do not think it will actually solve your problem of feeling disconnected.
I say this, in part, because i suspect my own feelings of loneliness and pointlessness would not ACTUALLY be fixed if i just moved to some place more exciting. Sure, it'd be fun to be in that other place, but i don't think my situation is the actual root cause of my discontent.
Rather, i think some of it is in my nature, some of it is because i don't have the guts to grab at the things that i care about, some of it is because when i am sad i push other people away, compounding the issue.
In your case, i would say that travelling so much and quitting your job at a particularly difficult point in your life certainly did not help you build connections with your current location or current peer group, even if those things were good for other reasons.
In short, and i just have to hope you won't hate me for saying this, i think when things are difficult for you you have a tendency to run away, or give in to an unsatisfactory decision. This is something that a lot of people, including myself, do, but i don't think it is necessary a recipe for being satisfied with one's life. At some point you have to grab onto your life and fight for those things you truly care about.
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I do realize that running off for most of the summer didn't help me become any more connected to Seattle, and if anything it probably exacerbated the problem. I don't know, maybe I've just become unfun to be around, but I feel like much of my social interaction has become highly lopsided in terms of who calls who. I really kind of thirst for a friendship with someone who actually wants to be around me as much as I want to be around them (and is in the same city as me). It's been a while.
At any rate, the thoughts of Japan were that I really would love to go there for more than just a week at a time, and might as well look into it now that I don't have as much holding me to one location. Sort of like how I was pondering moving to California as well. If I'm going to spend many evenings alone, might as well spend them alone somewhere like Tokyo where I can hone my language skills just by sheer immersion.
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If I'm going to spend many evenings alone, might as well spend them alone somewhere like Tokyo. Yeah, i get that.
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But what do I know? It may actually be an okay change of pace.
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