PP Song Parody: "Closer to Fine"

Okay, so, I know this isn't quite perfect yet, but I'm having trouble thinking of better lines for parts. The only out of game context you really need to know is that when you do puzzles, you get different ratings as you go -- it tells you how you're doing from time to time -- so for the particular leaguepoint you may get a rating anywhere from Booched, Poor, Fine, Good, Excellent, Incredible. "Fine" is basically slightly below average, I guess. Incredible is "super-duper good". "Ult" is short for "Ultimate" which is the highest overall rating you can have in a skill.



"The Officer-in-Training's Lament"
(To the tune of "Closer to Fine" by the Indigo Girls)
New lyrics by Deanna "Janthina" Rubin

I'm trying to ask you something 'bout my score
Maybe give me insight into learning more
And the best thing you've ever done for me
Is to help me get my Ult in carpentry
It's only carp, after all... yeah.
Well, Sailing Ult is something unachievable
And Bilging scores are booched, or so I hear
I took that sloop in Ruby that you got me
I sailed my ship of safety 'till they shot me
...I'm floating back to shore.

I went to the docktarts, I went to the forums
I looked at the top ten, and tried to ignore 'em
There's more than one way to play these puzzles;
Running ships is the bottom line.
And the less I break my back to get Incredible
The closer I am to "Fine".

I went to try my hand at learning gunnery
With a bit of wad and powder, and a cannonball or three
But brigands engaged me, on sails I had a swabbie
They gave me so few tokens, my navving was so slobby
I filled four guns while avoiding open fire, dodged the grapple,
And I could flee.

I went to the docktarts, I went to the forums
I looked at the top ten, and tried to ignore 'em
There's more than one way to play these puzzles;
Running ships is the bottom line.
And the less I break my back to get Incredible
The closer I am to "Fine".

I stopped by the inn at 3am
To try entering a tourney, or brawling with a friend
I joined up with a card game for some late-night escapades
Twice I had a blind nil with the ace of spades
I kept it for hilarity.

I went to the docktarts, I went to the forums
I looked at the top ten, and tried to ignore 'em
Yeah, we all can be docktarts, we all need a muzzle,
We look at the statwhores, and just do our puzzle,
Yeah, we go to the crow's nest, we go be the lookout,
We learn to shoot in battle, we give those brigs a workout,
There's more than one way to do these puzzles
Running ships is the bottom line
And the less I break my back to get Incredible
The closer I am to "Fine",
Closer I am to "Fine",
Closer I am to "Fine".