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Hana Yori Dango, the "abridged version"
I have no idea what possessed me to write this, but once I got on a roll, I couldn't stop. I don't know if anyone else reading this has seen the Hana Yori Dango dorama, but even if you haven't, well, here's a summary. Sort of. You can read this and save yourself the 9 hours of actually watching the show! Wheeeeee! Ha ha funny!
Makino: Hi, I'm Makino. I'm a poor girl who got a scholarship to a high school full of stuck-up lazy rich kids. It sucks.
Domyouji, Rui, Soujiro, Akira: Hey, we're the "Flower Four". We're even more gratuitously rich than the rest of the snotbrains here, so everyone bows down to us. Our job is to give random people a red tag and make their life miserable at school because we're spoiled, bored, and better than all of you. Really, there's only two of us who actually MATTER in this show, but "F4" sounds cooler than "F2", plus it sucks playing mah-jongg with only two people.
Sakurako: I'm Makino's only friend at school! Really! Heh heh heh. [walks into Domyouji with lunch tray]
Domyouji: Bitch! I'm red-tagging your ass!
Makino: Oh, lay off her, you pretentious asshat.
Domyouji: Fine, I'll red-tag you instead!
School: OMG RED TAG MAKINO. U DED. [tries to kill Makino]
Rui: Hey, Makino, you're kind of cute. Shame my friends all hate your guts. [saves Makino from the school]
Makino: Fuck this F4 shit! [punches out Domyouji]
Domyouji: OMFG. U DED. [gets his henchmen to kidnap Makino]
Makino: Oh crap.
Domyouji: Ha ha only kidding, I abdominated you to give you a makeover and expensive clothes.
Makino: You fucking retard, it's "abducted", and I don't want any of this stuff! Let me out of this crazy mansion! WTF is this, Hogwarts?
Domyouji's mom: Stupid commoner, get out of my house. AND STAY OUT!
Yuki: I'm Makino's only REAL friend, since elementary school. We work together at the candy shop. Who's THIS chick?
Sakurako: Dude, I'm sorry I ignored you after the red tag thing. Can we be friends?
Makino: Of course we can! I am always so nice to everyone! Hey, isn't that Rui over there staring at the posters of Toudou Shizuka, the famous model in France?
Rui: Isn't she pretty? Oh by the way, I'm in love with her, and we're sort of going out, but I'm going to continue being all nice-nice to you because I think it's really funny when you blush.
Bitchy Trio: OMFG MAKINO HAD 5 ABORTIONS!! SLUT!!!1!11one
Domyouji: RED TAG SAKURAKO FOR HANGING OUT WITH MAKINO OMFG!!!
School: Dude, we're just fucking glad it's not us. [throws soy sauce bottle at Makino and Sakurako]
Makino: This red tag crap is BULLSHIT. [bats soy sauce bottle back with a broom]
Domyouji: OMFG SOY SAUCE ON MY FEET. LICK IT UP, BITCH.
Rui: Sigh, why do I always end up saving Makino? Come on, let's blow this joint and go back to our little private fire escape.
Bitchy Trio: Hey, we were just kidding about the abortions. Come to Shizuka's welcome-home party. It's casual jeans wear. We swear.
Bitchy Trio, later at party: Ha ha ha ha you stupid little twerp, we just wanted to make you look bad, of COURSE it's a formal black-tie event. Dumbass. [dumps drinks on Makino]
Rui: Um, you look wet. Here, have my handkerchief. Don't lose it, it'll be a plot point later.
Shizuka: OMFG, you three are such bitches. [pushes trio into pool] Hey Makino, I'm a model, I've got lots of cool clothes, let me dress you up like Cinderella, that'll be awesome.
Makino: Well, okay. Holy shit, I look really good!
Rui: Holy shit, you look really good!
Domyouji, to himself: Holy shit, she looks really good. Why didn't she smile when *I* gave her a makeover? Impertinent slut!
Domyouji, to Rui: Fuck you, don't talk to her! [punches Rui]
Makino: Don't punch the boy I have a crush on! Asshole! [tackles Domyouji, they end up on the floor in a pile, kissing]
Makino AND Domyouji: Uh, how the FUCK did we end up here?
Everyone else: OMFG KISSING!
Sakurako: I hate these people. I'm dropping out of school.
Makino: Oh, please don't, nobody else in the building talks to me at all.
Sakurako: Did you kiss Domyouji?
Makino: Not on purpose! Goddamn clumsy bastard!
Sakurako: OMFG. You don't know this yet but I'm a complete psycho hose beast when it comes to Domyouji. For now I'll just act all weird and sad.
Domyouji: Makino! I'm going to kill you unless you decide to like me! Get in my car and ride with me to school!
Makino: No way! [runs away]
Domyouji: Goddamnit! [chases]
Tsubaki: Don't be so full of yourself! [totally kicks the shit out of him]
Audience: Holy shit, that's Domyouji's older sister? She RULES!
Tsubaki: Indeed, I do. Hey, Makino, let ME give you a ride to school, because unlike my stupid little brother, I'm not a complete asshat.
School: OMFG, Domyouji's sister gave Makino a ride to school in the coolest car ever! We better be nice to Makino from now on or Tsubaki might kick OUR asses too!
Shizuka: So, I'm going back to France. I'm just a plot catalyst anyway.
Makino: Oh please please don't! Please stay here! If you leave, I'll have to deal with Rui being all depressed, and I totally have a crush on him when he smiles.
Shizuka: Sorry. France is so much cooler than this dump. Take care of Rui for me, okay?
Rui: What the HELL did you think you were doing, Makino?
Audience: Whoa, he's yelling. This must be important.
Makino: I just wanted you to be happy, moron. GO AFTER HER. GEEZ. I don't want to look at your unhappy ass for the rest of the show.
Everyone: Bye Shizuka! We'll miss you. Where the hell is Rui? Doesn't he want to say goodbye to her? [Shizuka goes to board her plane]
Rui: Ha, I was hiding because I'm a sneaky bastard. Look, I have a ticket to France too.
Domyouji: OMFG you're kidding. You can't leave!!!! Wait, if you leave, I have a chance at Makino. Huh. OMG OMG OMG OMG BYE RUI!!11!!!111!!
Tsubaki: By the way, little brother, you moron, I'm going to quote some Hemingway at you. If you really like Makino, you'll start being less of an asshat and actually have some feelings.
Domyouji: Fuck yeah! OMFG sis, you're the best! I'm totally going to go ask her out! I'm a CHANGED MAN!
Tsubaki: Am I really related to this guy? [rolls eyes]
Domyouji: Makino, go out with me. Or else I'll fucking kill you. Meet me this Sunday at 1pm at Ebisu Square Garden. Also, listen to me butcher Ernest Hemingway, because I'm a moron.
School: OMFG. DID DOMYOUJI JUST ASK OUT MAKINO?
Bitchy Trio: OH NOOOOOOOOES! F4 GOING OUT WITH THAT POOR GIRL INSTEAD OF US????
Makino: What a bastard. He can't tell me what to do. I'm going shopping with Yuki today instead. Oh crap, it's raining. I wonder if that idiot is still out there. Hm, it's 4pm. Maybe I should go check.
Domyouji: OMFG COLD AND WET.
Makino: Shit. How pathetic. Cmon, let's go inside somewhere, I'll buy you some hot tea. Crap, wait, I'm poor. How about this place, they've got a cafe on the fourth floor.
Elevator: Ha ha ha, I'm not going ANYWHERE. Poor dumb kids trapped inside! Nyah nyah!
Domyouji: Let's see if we can climb out through the roof. I really have to pee.
Makino: OMFG, you are SO GROSS. [falls off elevator] SHIT! SAVE MY LIFE!
Domyouji: Okay, I saved your life. Now I'm going to die of this stupid fever I got while standing in the rain waiting for you for FOUR FUCKING HOURS you STUPID BIT--zzzzzzzzzzzzzz... [falls asleep]
Makino: Huh. He's almost sort of cute when he's asleep. I guess we're trapped in here until someone finds us. [falls asleep]
Workmen: GET OUT OF OUR ELEVATOR, YOU STUPID KIDS! CAN'T YOU GO FIND A LOVE MOTEL?
Elevator: I was a plot point! I was a plot point!
School, seeing picture of Domyouji trying to kiss Makino goodbye after elevator escapade: Shit, they're dating? For real? WTF???
Domyouji: Hey, I have a girlfriend now. I think I'll visit her family.
Family: OMFG RICH GUY! PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MARRY OUR DAUGHTER SO WE WON'T BE POOR ANYMORE!
Makino: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE???!!?!?! I AM NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND!!!!
School: Hey, now that you're Domyouji's girlfriend we're going to be nice to you. Come out clubbing with us. Right now.
Makino: Um, okay. Hey, this club is dark. And scary. And why is this guy hitting on me? He looks kind of like Rui. And he wants me to drink some tea. And now the floor is getting all wavy.. I think I want to take a nap.. [wakes up the next morning in a hotel room in her underwear] OMFG!!!! I WAS DRUGGED!!!! WTF!!!!
School, seeing pictures of Makino in her underwear in bed with some dude: OMFG!!!!! SLUT!!!!!
Domyouji: OMFG!!!!! SLUT!!!!! [storms off]
Makino: You moron, I was framed! Can't you tell I'm not even awake in the picture?
Sakurako: Heh heh heh heh.
Makino: Okay, that does it. Who the FUCK is stalking me and taking all these goddamn pictures?
Soujiro: I dunno, but I'm sick of just being a secondary character. Let me help you investigate it.
Makino: Word.
Akira: I'll, uh, sit here and hit on the lady you work for... I mean, I'll help out at your workplace while you guys go search.
Sakurako: Domyouji, I'm pretending to be all sweet and nice. Let's go investigate this thing too. While we're at it, I'm going to take you to the hotel room that Makino was framed in, and try to jump you.
Domyouji: GODDAMNIT. I AM SO FUCKING PISSED OFF. Get out of my way, bitch, I don't want you, I want Makino, so I can kill her. I mean kiss her. I MEAN OH WHO CARES ANYWAY, JUST GET OUT OF HERE YOU PSYCHO.
Soujiro: It just LOOKS like I'm hitting on women at this host/hostess bar, but in reality, I'm keeping an eye out for the guy who lured Makino into that hotel. Hey, there he is! [beats the shit out of the guy] Who made you do it, asshole?
Host guy: Uh, some chick named Cherry paid me to do it.
Soujiro: "Cherry"? I don't get it.
Audience: What a fucking moron.
Sakurako: [calls Makino] Hey, come over. I have your boyfriend here, and he wants to apologize. You're still stupid enough to trust me. Ha ha.
Makino: Well, okay. [comes over, gets abducted by Sakurako's thugs and taken to Eitoku cafeteria]
Sakurako: [calls Domyouji] Hey, come to the Eitoku cafeteria. I have your girlfriend here. Come now. Come alone. OR ELSE.
Soujiro and Akira: [calls Domyouji] Hey dude, we figured it out. That psycho hose beast Sakurako is really after YOU. Where the hell are you going?
Domyouji: Uh, nowhere.
Soujiro and Akira: Liar. You're going to get the shit kicked out of you.
Domyouji: I know, but I want to go save my girlfriend.
Makino: He's not my fucking boyfriend, he isn't going to show up, what the hell is WRONG with you, Sakurako? I thought we were friends.
[Domyouji shows up]
Makino: Oh shit.
Sakurako, to her thugs: Beat the crap out of him. Domyouji, if you lift a finger to resist, I'll cut up Makino's ugly mug with my pocket knife.
Thugs: [beat the crap out of him]
Domyouji: Ow. Makino...
Sakurako: No, you asshole, SAKURAKO.
Domyouji: Ow. Makino...
Sakurako: GODDAMNIT! When I was like 5 years old I had a crush on this clown and he called me ugly. So I've been pissed off ever since. I spent my parents' entire fortune on plastic surgery, and the asshole still doesn't like me. WTF?!?!!? I AM SO PRETTY, BOW DOWN TO ME OR I'LL BASH YOUR HEAD IN WITH THIS CHAIR.
[Makino gets in the way and gets hit with the chair instead]
Everyone: WTF?! [leaves]
Makino: Uh, well, it looked like it hurt.
Domyouji: Yeah, you see all this blood? It's not makeup. Uh, I love you. I really do. You should know there's no greater sacrifice a man can make for a woman than getting the shit kicked out of him.
Makino: Ewwww!
Domyouji: Shut up. I need a hug. Hug me or else.
Bitchy Trio: Hey Sakurako, we found our old yearbook, and BOY WERE YOU UGLY HA HA HA!
Sakurako: [cowers like a pathetic little girl, crying]
Makino: You stupid rich bitches, who cares what you spend your money on? I'll give you all a face so ugly no plastic surgery could fix it!
Sakurako: WTF are you defending me for?
Makino: Because I am so much better than you and I don't want you to forget it.
Domyouji: OMG! SHE'S AWEEEEEEESOME! EVERYONE LOOK AT MY AWEEEEESOME GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!
Rui: Hey, by the way, I'm back from France.
Domyouji: Hands off! She's mine now!
Makino: Oh man. He's still SO cute. [sighs]
Domyouji: Makino, here's a GOLD-PLATED CELLPHONE. Don't lose it or I'll kill you. It's just for "us". By the way, I bought your family a ton of furniture.
Makino: Moron! Are you too stupid to remember how small our apartment is? Now I can't even walk to the closet I call a room!
Rui: Hey, by the way, Makino, Shizuka says I should ask you out. Are you dating Domyouji?
Makino: Well, err... umm... well... not exactly.
Rui: Sweeeeet! So, how about it? I guess maybe we should just date in secret. Um... well, actually, I'm kidding. Heh heh. Aren't I funny?
Makino: What? Huh? Oh by the way, I still have your handkerchief...
Rui: You *are* obsessive, little girl. [pat pat]
Domyouji's mom: Okay, I have to come back to Japan and meddle in my son's affairs if he's really going to date a poor girl.
Tsubaki: Well, fine, then I have to come back too so you'll stop meddling.
Domyouji's mom: Make me.
Tsubaki: I have this great idea for an episode plot. Makino, why don't you make my idiotic brother go out on a double date with you and your best friend Yuki and her boyfriend, who you've never met but assume must be a nice guy to be dating your best friend?
Yuki and Makino: Ooh, that sounds like fun! Let's go to the zoo!
Nakatsuka, Yuki's boyfriend: I am even MORE of an asshole than Domyouji, if you can believe that, only I'm poor, too. Infact, I have absolutely NO redeeming qualities.
Yuki: But I like you anyway!
Nakatsuka: Honestly, bitch, I think you're pretty boring, but rather than tell you that to your face, I'm going to try to get Makino's cool boyfriend to ditch you guys and come with me to go pick up chicks instead of hanging out with you losers.
Domyouji: DON'T YOU CALL MY MAKINO BORING OR UGLY! I promised her I wouldn't beat the shit out of you but [beats the shit out of him]
Yuki and Makino: OMFG WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!!!
Nakatsuka: You SUCK! I'm never talking to any of you people again! [leaves]
Yuki: [cries]
Domyouji: THAT ASSHOLE! I'm going home. [leaves]
Makino: [gets home] OMFG WHAT IS GOING ON.
Domyouji's mom: Look, here's 3 million yen. I want you to never speak to my son again. Got it?
Makino's mom: How dare you. You're a fucking bitch. [dumps a canister of salt on her head]
Domyouji's mom: I am SO going to get you back for this, trash! [takes her money and leaves]
Makino: Why'd you beat up Yuki's boyfriend?
Domyouji: I don't want to talk about it. Are you dating Rui? He had your gold cellphone.
Makino: Maybe I lied to you about that, but WHY DID YOU BEAT UP--
Domyouji: I DON'T CARE ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE ASKING, YOU TELL ME WHY MY BEST FRIEND HAD THE CELLPHONE I GAVE YOU GODDAMNIT!
Makino: Fuck you and fuck your cellphone. Tell your mom to keep her three million yen and her stupid fucking son. We're through.
Rui: So, now will you go out with me? [hugs Makino]
Makino: Totally. You give good hug.
Domyouji: OMFG. FUCK YOU RUI. I'M KICKING YOU OUT OF F4.
Soujiro and Akira: Wait, we're characters in this series too, and we think that sucks. Don't be an asshat.
Domyouji: Don't make me kick the shit out of you too!
Makino: OMG, I'm on a date with Hanazawa Rui.
Sakurako and Domyouji: OMG, we're totally stalking you.
Rui: Sigh. Let's go to a park and talk.
Makino: By the way, Shizuka's engaged, did you know?
Rui: Yeah, I knew. I hope you didn't think I was being grumpy because you're a bad date or anything. Really, I'm just trying to get you to talk about Domyouji.
Makino: That asshole? OMFG you have no idea how selfish, horrible, terrible, idiotic--
Rui: You really like him, don't you?
Makino: Shut up.
Makino: Yuki, what the hell are you doing out here?
Yuki: Look, this is where Nakatsuka and I first met. Let me send him another email, since he didn't answer the first thousand of them.
Nakatsuka's new girlfriend: Hey, who's that crazy girl over there looking at you?
Nakatsuka: No idea. Maybe I've seen her around before.
Yuki: [cries]
Soujiro: Yay, I get to be part of the plot again!! Oi, Yuki, let's go get even with your ex-boyfriend. I'm bored. Where is he?
Yuki: Movie theater. Let's go.
Soujiro: Hey, Nakatsuka's new girlfriend, wanna go out with me? I am so much more cute, sexy, and part of the plot than that guy.
Nakatsuka's new girlfriend: OMG TOTALLY! Nakatsuka, you suck.
Everyone: OMG F4!!!!!!
Soujiro: Great! Oh, by the way, I was kidding. This girl Yuki is the one I really want. Heh heh. [walks off]
Nakatsuka: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!!?!?!?!!? Hey Makino, is this just because I told your boyfriend Domyouji that you were ugly and plain and tried to get him to to ditch you guys and come with me to pick up chicks?
Makino: OMFG YOU'RE KIDDING IS THAT WHY HE KICKED YOUR ASS?
Nakatsuka: Well, yeah, I guess so.
Makino: I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS TOO!!!!! [punches his lights out]
Domyouji: RUI I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS!!!
Akira and Soujirou: WE'RE NOT GOING TO LET YOU!!!!!
Rui: Oh, bring it ON.
[the entirety of F4 beats the living shit out of each other for about five minutes]
Rui: By the way, Domyouji, you dumbass, I was only going out with Makino to mess with you and get even for that little minor earlier mentioned plot point from our childhood.
Domyouji: YOU ASSHOLE! I'M GOING TO... wait a minute, that means I can still have her? Sweet. I love you, man!
Makino: Um, Domyouji, I'm really sorry I broke up with you. I found out why you kicked Nakatsuka's ass, and by the way, I kicked his ass too, and it was fun. You're still completely insanely in love with me, right?
Domyouji: I am. Get over here to the Domyouji tower RIGHT THIS MINUTE or I'll FUCKING KILL YOU. I want to show you Saturn.
Makino: Who the hell does he think he is? Ah well, I'll go over there anyway. Wait, WTF is going on out here?
Makino's Dad: I LOST MY JOB FOR NO GOOD REASON :( :( :(
Family: :( :( :( :(
Makino's Dad: Also, I owe a TON of money to these gambling sharks.
Family: OMFG CRAP WE'RE SCREWED :( :( :( :(
Domyouji: WHERE THE HELL IS SHE??!?!?!? She stood me up AGAIN, that BITCH.
Makino: Well, maybe we should all go get new jobs?
Family: WE CAN'T! NOBODY WILL HIRE US! SHIIIIIIIT.
Makino: I guess I'll have to leave school and find a job.
F4: WTF. She left school why?
Domyouji: Crap, maybe she had a good reason for standing me up.
Rui: Domyouji, this is TOTALLY your mom's fault.
Domyouji: Don't talk about my mom like... wait a minute, it IS my mom's fault.
Domyouji's mom: Ha ha ha ha! I told that little twerp not to mess with me! Now I will make her life hell!
Makino: Why are you messing with my family, you bitch?
Domyouji's mom: Oh, that's not all! I'm also going to make the candy shop you work at close down as well. You are SCREWED! Stop seeing my son! I pwnz0r j00!
F4: Oh NO you DON'T, bitch. [takes care of Makino's family and the shop and all]
Tsubaki: I have this great idea. Makino should enter the Teen of Japan competition. When she wins, our stupid bitchy mother will HAVE to accept her.
Domyouji's mom: Fine, I'll make you a bet. If Makino wins, which she won't, I'll back down and let you all actually be happy. If she loses, my stupid son has to come with me to New York and study business management for three years because otherwise he'll be too retarded to take over the family's financial empire.
Domyouji and Tsubaki: Sweet! You're on!
Everyone: Makino, okay, so we're going to do the whole Pygmalion thing on you, and turn you into a total high-society chick. Cool, isn't it?
Makino: OMFG this is a royal pain in the butt.
Everyone: Exactly.
Domyouji's mom: It's irrelevant since I'm calling in my son's fiancee. She's been studying in London, and is a very lovely and talented teenager who will win the contest. Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Ayano: Why am I here? Sigh. I don't want to marry that weirdo anyway.
Makino: He has a fiancee? WHAT?
Domyouji: Uh, ignore that, and just win the contest, okay? God I hate my mom, she always fucks things up.
Ayano: Whoa. We're the finalists in this contest. By the way, you're a really nice girl, Makino.
Makino: So are you, Ayano-chan. I wish we didn't have to meet under these circumstances. This sucks.
Contest: Okay, well, technically it's a tie, so by our random tiebreaker, Ayano wins, almost as arbitrarily as it was that you two were the finalists anyway. But we're giving you a big second place prize, Makino.
Makino: OH NOESSSS!!!!!
Domyouji: OH NOESSSS!!!!!
Domyouji's mom: I WIN! HAHAHAHAAHAHAH!
Audience: WTF! MAKINO TOTALLY RULELELZLLEDZ0r!!
Makino's family: Sweet! Second prize is a million yen! WE'RE RICH!!!!!
F4: Tonight we're gonna party like it's Episode 9!
Makino: Where the hell is Domyouji? He couldn't even come to my party?
Domyouji: [on phone] Hey, Makino, let's go out on a lunch date tomorrow.
Makino: Yay!
Domyouji: [to Rui] Oh shit, how the hell am I going to go to New York and study when I can't even speak Japanese, let alone English?
Rui: That sucks, dude.
Domyouji: Look, dude, do me a big favor and show up in my place on my date with Makino tomorrow and give her this Christmas present? I'm too gutless to tell her what's going on to her face, plus it's at the same time my mom expects me to be on a plane with her.
Family & Friends: YAY! Life is back to normal! We have jobs and stuff again! Thank god that bitch is leaving us alone!
Makino: Wait, you're not Domyouji. What gives?
Rui: He told me to show up and give you a present from him. Here. He's going to leave for New York in pretty much about as long as it'll take you to get to the airport and chase after him.
Makino: That idiot? How the hell is he going to go to New York and study when he can't even speak Japanese, let alone English?
Rui: You moron, didn't you get my hint? You remember how you made me go chase Shizuka to France? GO AFTER HIM! Jesus CHRIST you're so dense sometimes. Here, use my car.
Makino: Fuck, I hate it when people make me eat my words. [gets in car]
Domyouji, in a letter: Here's a really nice necklace charm of Saturn because of some horoscope thingy that wasn't really that important to the plot. I sound like a really nice guy all of a sudden, and you're totally going to cry when you read this, but of course I've always been too much of an asshat to sound this sweet to your face. Byeee!
Plane: Vroom! I'm flying to New York! Runway, here I come!
Makino: [running] DOMYOUJI! DOMYOUJI! DOMYOUJI! OMFG LOOK OUT THE WINDOW YOU MORON!
Domyouji's mom: God that girl is persistent. Okay, sigh, stop the plane already so this series can have a semi-happy ending.
Domyouji, running out of the plane: Makino, what the fuck do you think you're doing?
Makino: What the fuck do you think YOU'RE doing?
Domyouji: My mom's making me go to New York because you couldn't even win a fucking contest!
Makino: That was low.
Domyouji: Okay, maybe. But you're totally in love with me.
Makino: Yeah, okay, maybe I am. But you still suck.
Domyouji: I'll be back for you in three years, ok? Wait for me. Or I'll fucking kill you.
Makino: Oh, just shut up and KISS me?
Domyouji and Makino: OMG KISS IN THE SUNSET AWWWWWWW.
Everyone else: Woo, happy ending!
Domyouji: But I'm still on a fucking plane going to New York!
Everyone else: So what? WE'RE all happy. Also, without you here, the rate of people getting randomly beaten up on the streets of Tokyo is going to fall drastically. Good riddance.
Makino: Hi, I'm Makino. I'm a poor girl who got a scholarship to a high school full of stuck-up lazy rich kids. It sucks.
Domyouji, Rui, Soujiro, Akira: Hey, we're the "Flower Four". We're even more gratuitously rich than the rest of the snotbrains here, so everyone bows down to us. Our job is to give random people a red tag and make their life miserable at school because we're spoiled, bored, and better than all of you. Really, there's only two of us who actually MATTER in this show, but "F4" sounds cooler than "F2", plus it sucks playing mah-jongg with only two people.
Sakurako: I'm Makino's only friend at school! Really! Heh heh heh. [walks into Domyouji with lunch tray]
Domyouji: Bitch! I'm red-tagging your ass!
Makino: Oh, lay off her, you pretentious asshat.
Domyouji: Fine, I'll red-tag you instead!
School: OMG RED TAG MAKINO. U DED. [tries to kill Makino]
Rui: Hey, Makino, you're kind of cute. Shame my friends all hate your guts. [saves Makino from the school]
Makino: Fuck this F4 shit! [punches out Domyouji]
Domyouji: OMFG. U DED. [gets his henchmen to kidnap Makino]
Makino: Oh crap.
Domyouji: Ha ha only kidding, I abdominated you to give you a makeover and expensive clothes.
Makino: You fucking retard, it's "abducted", and I don't want any of this stuff! Let me out of this crazy mansion! WTF is this, Hogwarts?
Domyouji's mom: Stupid commoner, get out of my house. AND STAY OUT!
Yuki: I'm Makino's only REAL friend, since elementary school. We work together at the candy shop. Who's THIS chick?
Sakurako: Dude, I'm sorry I ignored you after the red tag thing. Can we be friends?
Makino: Of course we can! I am always so nice to everyone! Hey, isn't that Rui over there staring at the posters of Toudou Shizuka, the famous model in France?
Rui: Isn't she pretty? Oh by the way, I'm in love with her, and we're sort of going out, but I'm going to continue being all nice-nice to you because I think it's really funny when you blush.
Bitchy Trio: OMFG MAKINO HAD 5 ABORTIONS!! SLUT!!!1!11one
Domyouji: RED TAG SAKURAKO FOR HANGING OUT WITH MAKINO OMFG!!!
School: Dude, we're just fucking glad it's not us. [throws soy sauce bottle at Makino and Sakurako]
Makino: This red tag crap is BULLSHIT. [bats soy sauce bottle back with a broom]
Domyouji: OMFG SOY SAUCE ON MY FEET. LICK IT UP, BITCH.
Rui: Sigh, why do I always end up saving Makino? Come on, let's blow this joint and go back to our little private fire escape.
Bitchy Trio: Hey, we were just kidding about the abortions. Come to Shizuka's welcome-home party. It's casual jeans wear. We swear.
Bitchy Trio, later at party: Ha ha ha ha you stupid little twerp, we just wanted to make you look bad, of COURSE it's a formal black-tie event. Dumbass. [dumps drinks on Makino]
Rui: Um, you look wet. Here, have my handkerchief. Don't lose it, it'll be a plot point later.
Shizuka: OMFG, you three are such bitches. [pushes trio into pool] Hey Makino, I'm a model, I've got lots of cool clothes, let me dress you up like Cinderella, that'll be awesome.
Makino: Well, okay. Holy shit, I look really good!
Rui: Holy shit, you look really good!
Domyouji, to himself: Holy shit, she looks really good. Why didn't she smile when *I* gave her a makeover? Impertinent slut!
Domyouji, to Rui: Fuck you, don't talk to her! [punches Rui]
Makino: Don't punch the boy I have a crush on! Asshole! [tackles Domyouji, they end up on the floor in a pile, kissing]
Makino AND Domyouji: Uh, how the FUCK did we end up here?
Everyone else: OMFG KISSING!
Sakurako: I hate these people. I'm dropping out of school.
Makino: Oh, please don't, nobody else in the building talks to me at all.
Sakurako: Did you kiss Domyouji?
Makino: Not on purpose! Goddamn clumsy bastard!
Sakurako: OMFG. You don't know this yet but I'm a complete psycho hose beast when it comes to Domyouji. For now I'll just act all weird and sad.
Domyouji: Makino! I'm going to kill you unless you decide to like me! Get in my car and ride with me to school!
Makino: No way! [runs away]
Domyouji: Goddamnit! [chases]
Tsubaki: Don't be so full of yourself! [totally kicks the shit out of him]
Audience: Holy shit, that's Domyouji's older sister? She RULES!
Tsubaki: Indeed, I do. Hey, Makino, let ME give you a ride to school, because unlike my stupid little brother, I'm not a complete asshat.
School: OMFG, Domyouji's sister gave Makino a ride to school in the coolest car ever! We better be nice to Makino from now on or Tsubaki might kick OUR asses too!
Shizuka: So, I'm going back to France. I'm just a plot catalyst anyway.
Makino: Oh please please don't! Please stay here! If you leave, I'll have to deal with Rui being all depressed, and I totally have a crush on him when he smiles.
Shizuka: Sorry. France is so much cooler than this dump. Take care of Rui for me, okay?
Rui: What the HELL did you think you were doing, Makino?
Audience: Whoa, he's yelling. This must be important.
Makino: I just wanted you to be happy, moron. GO AFTER HER. GEEZ. I don't want to look at your unhappy ass for the rest of the show.
Everyone: Bye Shizuka! We'll miss you. Where the hell is Rui? Doesn't he want to say goodbye to her? [Shizuka goes to board her plane]
Rui: Ha, I was hiding because I'm a sneaky bastard. Look, I have a ticket to France too.
Domyouji: OMFG you're kidding. You can't leave!!!! Wait, if you leave, I have a chance at Makino. Huh. OMG OMG OMG OMG BYE RUI!!11!!!111!!
Tsubaki: By the way, little brother, you moron, I'm going to quote some Hemingway at you. If you really like Makino, you'll start being less of an asshat and actually have some feelings.
Domyouji: Fuck yeah! OMFG sis, you're the best! I'm totally going to go ask her out! I'm a CHANGED MAN!
Tsubaki: Am I really related to this guy? [rolls eyes]
Domyouji: Makino, go out with me. Or else I'll fucking kill you. Meet me this Sunday at 1pm at Ebisu Square Garden. Also, listen to me butcher Ernest Hemingway, because I'm a moron.
School: OMFG. DID DOMYOUJI JUST ASK OUT MAKINO?
Bitchy Trio: OH NOOOOOOOOES! F4 GOING OUT WITH THAT POOR GIRL INSTEAD OF US????
Makino: What a bastard. He can't tell me what to do. I'm going shopping with Yuki today instead. Oh crap, it's raining. I wonder if that idiot is still out there. Hm, it's 4pm. Maybe I should go check.
Domyouji: OMFG COLD AND WET.
Makino: Shit. How pathetic. Cmon, let's go inside somewhere, I'll buy you some hot tea. Crap, wait, I'm poor. How about this place, they've got a cafe on the fourth floor.
Elevator: Ha ha ha, I'm not going ANYWHERE. Poor dumb kids trapped inside! Nyah nyah!
Domyouji: Let's see if we can climb out through the roof. I really have to pee.
Makino: OMFG, you are SO GROSS. [falls off elevator] SHIT! SAVE MY LIFE!
Domyouji: Okay, I saved your life. Now I'm going to die of this stupid fever I got while standing in the rain waiting for you for FOUR FUCKING HOURS you STUPID BIT--zzzzzzzzzzzzzz... [falls asleep]
Makino: Huh. He's almost sort of cute when he's asleep. I guess we're trapped in here until someone finds us. [falls asleep]
Workmen: GET OUT OF OUR ELEVATOR, YOU STUPID KIDS! CAN'T YOU GO FIND A LOVE MOTEL?
Elevator: I was a plot point! I was a plot point!
School, seeing picture of Domyouji trying to kiss Makino goodbye after elevator escapade: Shit, they're dating? For real? WTF???
Domyouji: Hey, I have a girlfriend now. I think I'll visit her family.
Family: OMFG RICH GUY! PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MARRY OUR DAUGHTER SO WE WON'T BE POOR ANYMORE!
Makino: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE???!!?!?! I AM NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND!!!!
School: Hey, now that you're Domyouji's girlfriend we're going to be nice to you. Come out clubbing with us. Right now.
Makino: Um, okay. Hey, this club is dark. And scary. And why is this guy hitting on me? He looks kind of like Rui. And he wants me to drink some tea. And now the floor is getting all wavy.. I think I want to take a nap.. [wakes up the next morning in a hotel room in her underwear] OMFG!!!! I WAS DRUGGED!!!! WTF!!!!
School, seeing pictures of Makino in her underwear in bed with some dude: OMFG!!!!! SLUT!!!!!
Domyouji: OMFG!!!!! SLUT!!!!! [storms off]
Makino: You moron, I was framed! Can't you tell I'm not even awake in the picture?
Sakurako: Heh heh heh heh.
Makino: Okay, that does it. Who the FUCK is stalking me and taking all these goddamn pictures?
Soujiro: I dunno, but I'm sick of just being a secondary character. Let me help you investigate it.
Makino: Word.
Akira: I'll, uh, sit here and hit on the lady you work for... I mean, I'll help out at your workplace while you guys go search.
Sakurako: Domyouji, I'm pretending to be all sweet and nice. Let's go investigate this thing too. While we're at it, I'm going to take you to the hotel room that Makino was framed in, and try to jump you.
Domyouji: GODDAMNIT. I AM SO FUCKING PISSED OFF. Get out of my way, bitch, I don't want you, I want Makino, so I can kill her. I mean kiss her. I MEAN OH WHO CARES ANYWAY, JUST GET OUT OF HERE YOU PSYCHO.
Soujiro: It just LOOKS like I'm hitting on women at this host/hostess bar, but in reality, I'm keeping an eye out for the guy who lured Makino into that hotel. Hey, there he is! [beats the shit out of the guy] Who made you do it, asshole?
Host guy: Uh, some chick named Cherry paid me to do it.
Soujiro: "Cherry"? I don't get it.
Audience: What a fucking moron.
Sakurako: [calls Makino] Hey, come over. I have your boyfriend here, and he wants to apologize. You're still stupid enough to trust me. Ha ha.
Makino: Well, okay. [comes over, gets abducted by Sakurako's thugs and taken to Eitoku cafeteria]
Sakurako: [calls Domyouji] Hey, come to the Eitoku cafeteria. I have your girlfriend here. Come now. Come alone. OR ELSE.
Soujiro and Akira: [calls Domyouji] Hey dude, we figured it out. That psycho hose beast Sakurako is really after YOU. Where the hell are you going?
Domyouji: Uh, nowhere.
Soujiro and Akira: Liar. You're going to get the shit kicked out of you.
Domyouji: I know, but I want to go save my girlfriend.
Makino: He's not my fucking boyfriend, he isn't going to show up, what the hell is WRONG with you, Sakurako? I thought we were friends.
[Domyouji shows up]
Makino: Oh shit.
Sakurako, to her thugs: Beat the crap out of him. Domyouji, if you lift a finger to resist, I'll cut up Makino's ugly mug with my pocket knife.
Thugs: [beat the crap out of him]
Domyouji: Ow. Makino...
Sakurako: No, you asshole, SAKURAKO.
Domyouji: Ow. Makino...
Sakurako: GODDAMNIT! When I was like 5 years old I had a crush on this clown and he called me ugly. So I've been pissed off ever since. I spent my parents' entire fortune on plastic surgery, and the asshole still doesn't like me. WTF?!?!!? I AM SO PRETTY, BOW DOWN TO ME OR I'LL BASH YOUR HEAD IN WITH THIS CHAIR.
[Makino gets in the way and gets hit with the chair instead]
Everyone: WTF?! [leaves]
Makino: Uh, well, it looked like it hurt.
Domyouji: Yeah, you see all this blood? It's not makeup. Uh, I love you. I really do. You should know there's no greater sacrifice a man can make for a woman than getting the shit kicked out of him.
Makino: Ewwww!
Domyouji: Shut up. I need a hug. Hug me or else.
Bitchy Trio: Hey Sakurako, we found our old yearbook, and BOY WERE YOU UGLY HA HA HA!
Sakurako: [cowers like a pathetic little girl, crying]
Makino: You stupid rich bitches, who cares what you spend your money on? I'll give you all a face so ugly no plastic surgery could fix it!
Sakurako: WTF are you defending me for?
Makino: Because I am so much better than you and I don't want you to forget it.
Domyouji: OMG! SHE'S AWEEEEEEESOME! EVERYONE LOOK AT MY AWEEEEESOME GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!
Rui: Hey, by the way, I'm back from France.
Domyouji: Hands off! She's mine now!
Makino: Oh man. He's still SO cute. [sighs]
Domyouji: Makino, here's a GOLD-PLATED CELLPHONE. Don't lose it or I'll kill you. It's just for "us". By the way, I bought your family a ton of furniture.
Makino: Moron! Are you too stupid to remember how small our apartment is? Now I can't even walk to the closet I call a room!
Rui: Hey, by the way, Makino, Shizuka says I should ask you out. Are you dating Domyouji?
Makino: Well, err... umm... well... not exactly.
Rui: Sweeeeet! So, how about it? I guess maybe we should just date in secret. Um... well, actually, I'm kidding. Heh heh. Aren't I funny?
Makino: What? Huh? Oh by the way, I still have your handkerchief...
Rui: You *are* obsessive, little girl. [pat pat]
Domyouji's mom: Okay, I have to come back to Japan and meddle in my son's affairs if he's really going to date a poor girl.
Tsubaki: Well, fine, then I have to come back too so you'll stop meddling.
Domyouji's mom: Make me.
Tsubaki: I have this great idea for an episode plot. Makino, why don't you make my idiotic brother go out on a double date with you and your best friend Yuki and her boyfriend, who you've never met but assume must be a nice guy to be dating your best friend?
Yuki and Makino: Ooh, that sounds like fun! Let's go to the zoo!
Nakatsuka, Yuki's boyfriend: I am even MORE of an asshole than Domyouji, if you can believe that, only I'm poor, too. Infact, I have absolutely NO redeeming qualities.
Yuki: But I like you anyway!
Nakatsuka: Honestly, bitch, I think you're pretty boring, but rather than tell you that to your face, I'm going to try to get Makino's cool boyfriend to ditch you guys and come with me to go pick up chicks instead of hanging out with you losers.
Domyouji: DON'T YOU CALL MY MAKINO BORING OR UGLY! I promised her I wouldn't beat the shit out of you but [beats the shit out of him]
Yuki and Makino: OMFG WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!!!
Nakatsuka: You SUCK! I'm never talking to any of you people again! [leaves]
Yuki: [cries]
Domyouji: THAT ASSHOLE! I'm going home. [leaves]
Makino: [gets home] OMFG WHAT IS GOING ON.
Domyouji's mom: Look, here's 3 million yen. I want you to never speak to my son again. Got it?
Makino's mom: How dare you. You're a fucking bitch. [dumps a canister of salt on her head]
Domyouji's mom: I am SO going to get you back for this, trash! [takes her money and leaves]
Makino: Why'd you beat up Yuki's boyfriend?
Domyouji: I don't want to talk about it. Are you dating Rui? He had your gold cellphone.
Makino: Maybe I lied to you about that, but WHY DID YOU BEAT UP--
Domyouji: I DON'T CARE ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE ASKING, YOU TELL ME WHY MY BEST FRIEND HAD THE CELLPHONE I GAVE YOU GODDAMNIT!
Makino: Fuck you and fuck your cellphone. Tell your mom to keep her three million yen and her stupid fucking son. We're through.
Rui: So, now will you go out with me? [hugs Makino]
Makino: Totally. You give good hug.
Domyouji: OMFG. FUCK YOU RUI. I'M KICKING YOU OUT OF F4.
Soujiro and Akira: Wait, we're characters in this series too, and we think that sucks. Don't be an asshat.
Domyouji: Don't make me kick the shit out of you too!
Makino: OMG, I'm on a date with Hanazawa Rui.
Sakurako and Domyouji: OMG, we're totally stalking you.
Rui: Sigh. Let's go to a park and talk.
Makino: By the way, Shizuka's engaged, did you know?
Rui: Yeah, I knew. I hope you didn't think I was being grumpy because you're a bad date or anything. Really, I'm just trying to get you to talk about Domyouji.
Makino: That asshole? OMFG you have no idea how selfish, horrible, terrible, idiotic--
Rui: You really like him, don't you?
Makino: Shut up.
Makino: Yuki, what the hell are you doing out here?
Yuki: Look, this is where Nakatsuka and I first met. Let me send him another email, since he didn't answer the first thousand of them.
Nakatsuka's new girlfriend: Hey, who's that crazy girl over there looking at you?
Nakatsuka: No idea. Maybe I've seen her around before.
Yuki: [cries]
Soujiro: Yay, I get to be part of the plot again!! Oi, Yuki, let's go get even with your ex-boyfriend. I'm bored. Where is he?
Yuki: Movie theater. Let's go.
Soujiro: Hey, Nakatsuka's new girlfriend, wanna go out with me? I am so much more cute, sexy, and part of the plot than that guy.
Nakatsuka's new girlfriend: OMG TOTALLY! Nakatsuka, you suck.
Everyone: OMG F4!!!!!!
Soujiro: Great! Oh, by the way, I was kidding. This girl Yuki is the one I really want. Heh heh. [walks off]
Nakatsuka: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!!?!?!?!!? Hey Makino, is this just because I told your boyfriend Domyouji that you were ugly and plain and tried to get him to to ditch you guys and come with me to pick up chicks?
Makino: OMFG YOU'RE KIDDING IS THAT WHY HE KICKED YOUR ASS?
Nakatsuka: Well, yeah, I guess so.
Makino: I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS TOO!!!!! [punches his lights out]
Domyouji: RUI I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS!!!
Akira and Soujirou: WE'RE NOT GOING TO LET YOU!!!!!
Rui: Oh, bring it ON.
[the entirety of F4 beats the living shit out of each other for about five minutes]
Rui: By the way, Domyouji, you dumbass, I was only going out with Makino to mess with you and get even for that little minor earlier mentioned plot point from our childhood.
Domyouji: YOU ASSHOLE! I'M GOING TO... wait a minute, that means I can still have her? Sweet. I love you, man!
Makino: Um, Domyouji, I'm really sorry I broke up with you. I found out why you kicked Nakatsuka's ass, and by the way, I kicked his ass too, and it was fun. You're still completely insanely in love with me, right?
Domyouji: I am. Get over here to the Domyouji tower RIGHT THIS MINUTE or I'll FUCKING KILL YOU. I want to show you Saturn.
Makino: Who the hell does he think he is? Ah well, I'll go over there anyway. Wait, WTF is going on out here?
Makino's Dad: I LOST MY JOB FOR NO GOOD REASON :( :( :(
Family: :( :( :( :(
Makino's Dad: Also, I owe a TON of money to these gambling sharks.
Family: OMFG CRAP WE'RE SCREWED :( :( :( :(
Domyouji: WHERE THE HELL IS SHE??!?!?!? She stood me up AGAIN, that BITCH.
Makino: Well, maybe we should all go get new jobs?
Family: WE CAN'T! NOBODY WILL HIRE US! SHIIIIIIIT.
Makino: I guess I'll have to leave school and find a job.
F4: WTF. She left school why?
Domyouji: Crap, maybe she had a good reason for standing me up.
Rui: Domyouji, this is TOTALLY your mom's fault.
Domyouji: Don't talk about my mom like... wait a minute, it IS my mom's fault.
Domyouji's mom: Ha ha ha ha! I told that little twerp not to mess with me! Now I will make her life hell!
Makino: Why are you messing with my family, you bitch?
Domyouji's mom: Oh, that's not all! I'm also going to make the candy shop you work at close down as well. You are SCREWED! Stop seeing my son! I pwnz0r j00!
F4: Oh NO you DON'T, bitch. [takes care of Makino's family and the shop and all]
Tsubaki: I have this great idea. Makino should enter the Teen of Japan competition. When she wins, our stupid bitchy mother will HAVE to accept her.
Domyouji's mom: Fine, I'll make you a bet. If Makino wins, which she won't, I'll back down and let you all actually be happy. If she loses, my stupid son has to come with me to New York and study business management for three years because otherwise he'll be too retarded to take over the family's financial empire.
Domyouji and Tsubaki: Sweet! You're on!
Everyone: Makino, okay, so we're going to do the whole Pygmalion thing on you, and turn you into a total high-society chick. Cool, isn't it?
Makino: OMFG this is a royal pain in the butt.
Everyone: Exactly.
Domyouji's mom: It's irrelevant since I'm calling in my son's fiancee. She's been studying in London, and is a very lovely and talented teenager who will win the contest. Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Ayano: Why am I here? Sigh. I don't want to marry that weirdo anyway.
Makino: He has a fiancee? WHAT?
Domyouji: Uh, ignore that, and just win the contest, okay? God I hate my mom, she always fucks things up.
Ayano: Whoa. We're the finalists in this contest. By the way, you're a really nice girl, Makino.
Makino: So are you, Ayano-chan. I wish we didn't have to meet under these circumstances. This sucks.
Contest: Okay, well, technically it's a tie, so by our random tiebreaker, Ayano wins, almost as arbitrarily as it was that you two were the finalists anyway. But we're giving you a big second place prize, Makino.
Makino: OH NOESSSS!!!!!
Domyouji: OH NOESSSS!!!!!
Domyouji's mom: I WIN! HAHAHAHAAHAHAH!
Audience: WTF! MAKINO TOTALLY RULELELZLLEDZ0r!!
Makino's family: Sweet! Second prize is a million yen! WE'RE RICH!!!!!
F4: Tonight we're gonna party like it's Episode 9!
Makino: Where the hell is Domyouji? He couldn't even come to my party?
Domyouji: [on phone] Hey, Makino, let's go out on a lunch date tomorrow.
Makino: Yay!
Domyouji: [to Rui] Oh shit, how the hell am I going to go to New York and study when I can't even speak Japanese, let alone English?
Rui: That sucks, dude.
Domyouji: Look, dude, do me a big favor and show up in my place on my date with Makino tomorrow and give her this Christmas present? I'm too gutless to tell her what's going on to her face, plus it's at the same time my mom expects me to be on a plane with her.
Family & Friends: YAY! Life is back to normal! We have jobs and stuff again! Thank god that bitch is leaving us alone!
Makino: Wait, you're not Domyouji. What gives?
Rui: He told me to show up and give you a present from him. Here. He's going to leave for New York in pretty much about as long as it'll take you to get to the airport and chase after him.
Makino: That idiot? How the hell is he going to go to New York and study when he can't even speak Japanese, let alone English?
Rui: You moron, didn't you get my hint? You remember how you made me go chase Shizuka to France? GO AFTER HIM! Jesus CHRIST you're so dense sometimes. Here, use my car.
Makino: Fuck, I hate it when people make me eat my words. [gets in car]
Domyouji, in a letter: Here's a really nice necklace charm of Saturn because of some horoscope thingy that wasn't really that important to the plot. I sound like a really nice guy all of a sudden, and you're totally going to cry when you read this, but of course I've always been too much of an asshat to sound this sweet to your face. Byeee!
Plane: Vroom! I'm flying to New York! Runway, here I come!
Makino: [running] DOMYOUJI! DOMYOUJI! DOMYOUJI! OMFG LOOK OUT THE WINDOW YOU MORON!
Domyouji's mom: God that girl is persistent. Okay, sigh, stop the plane already so this series can have a semi-happy ending.
Domyouji, running out of the plane: Makino, what the fuck do you think you're doing?
Makino: What the fuck do you think YOU'RE doing?
Domyouji: My mom's making me go to New York because you couldn't even win a fucking contest!
Makino: That was low.
Domyouji: Okay, maybe. But you're totally in love with me.
Makino: Yeah, okay, maybe I am. But you still suck.
Domyouji: I'll be back for you in three years, ok? Wait for me. Or I'll fucking kill you.
Makino: Oh, just shut up and KISS me?
Domyouji and Makino: OMG KISS IN THE SUNSET AWWWWWWW.
Everyone else: Woo, happy ending!
Domyouji: But I'm still on a fucking plane going to New York!
Everyone else: So what? WE'RE all happy. Also, without you here, the rate of people getting randomly beaten up on the streets of Tokyo is going to fall drastically. Good riddance.
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Though I have to say that Hemingway does a fine job of butchering himself. ;)
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I was unfortunate enough to watch that last scene as it was broadcast and I pretty much predicted what would happen about ten full minutes before it did happen. As she was running alongside a taxiing JET aircraft at a DESERTED airport with NO security which of COURSE would happen all the TIME in the real world, I was yelling at the screen like, "FULL POWER TO THE PORT ENGINE! SUCK HER INTO THE INTAKE! YAAAAR!" but to no avail....
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Stop it, I don't have time to do that :(
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Sourced from http://hyd.owarinai.net/name.php
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That was BRILLIANT! You win at life. What an interesting mix of the anime and manga. I really need to watch the episodes I downloaded. XD
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It sounds like the dorama series conflated a few things--like, I'm sure it wasn't Sakurako who arranged for Doumyouji to be beaten up.
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Tsubaki: Indeed, I do. Hey, Makino, let ME give you a ride to school, because unlike my stupid little brother, I'm not a complete asshat.
This part keeps cracking me up. Tsubaki is one of the best characters in the series though--she's never a twit and always ready to beat sense into people. She's kind of like what Makino could be several years from now. Actually, when Makino punches out Doumyouji the first time he just sits on the ground mumbling "oneesan..." :)
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