Song Parody: Danny Wilson

I could write about today, but I'm not sure what to say, because it was kind of strange for various reasons. So instead, I wrote another song parody in honor of Dan Wilson signing another year contract with the Mariners.


(The references: Dan Wilson has been a catcher for the Mariners for 11 years. A catcher, well, sits at home plate a lot. The Mariner Moose is the team mascot. Bob Melvin was the manager last year. Dave Niehaus is an announcer for the Mariners.)

Danny Wilson
(To the tune of "Brian Wilson", by the Barenaked Ladies)
(New lyrics by Deanna "Mariner Moose Jaw" Rubin)

Drove downtown in the rain six-thirty on a Tuesday night
Just to check out an evening baseball game
Call it compulsive, call it repulsive, call it low-brain
But when they are losing, we have to blame

It's a matter of lineups, a matter of positioning,
It's a matter of stats
You can call me the Mariner Moose
Give me beer, and I'll postulate, how'd you like that?
Hey, Bob Melvin, tell me you're not just a pedagogue,
'cause right now I'm

Sitting at home just like Danny Wilson did
Well I'm sitting at home just like Danny Wilson did

So I'm sitting here, just staring at the baseball field
And I'm thinking about how to not strike out
Just listening and relistening to Davey Niehaus
And I'm wondering if it's some kind of productive drought
Because I'm sitting at home just like Danny Wilson did
Well I'm sitting at home just like Danny Wilson did

And if you want to find me I'll be out in the bleachers
Wondering where the hell all the talent's gone
Drinking my warm beer and scribbling one more Yankees run
And wishing we had won

Sitting at home just like Danny Wilson did
Well I'm sitting at home just like Danny Wilson did

I had a dream that we lost three hundred games
And the stadium was very empty
I zoned out 'til I couldn't see the grounders
I zoned out 'til I couldn't see the grounders
Somebody help them, they can't see the ball
Somebody help them, they can't see the ball
Somebody help them, because we're
Sitting at home just like Danny Wilson did
Well I'm sitting at home just like Danny Wilson did

Drove downtown in the rain six-thirty on a Tuesday night.
Just to check out the Mariners, 'cause they stink (Boy they sure do stink)
Call it disgusted, call it mistrusted, call it insane
But when I'm in Safeco, I'm led to drink...