![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Deanna's recipe for making lasagna
Mar. 27th, 2002 05:51 pmingredients:
- package of lasagna noodles with recipe on back
- 3/4 pound ground meat
- big-ass tub of ricotta cheese
- 2 cups mozzarella cheese
- big-ass can of spaghetti sauce (i like the chunky garden style ones)
- package of frozen spinach
- 4 eggs
- some assorted other shit like spices, parsley, salt, pepper, etc
procedure:
1) go to campus for indian food lunch and pinball and dropping off film and hang out with people and play board games for a while because otherwise you will not be a happy camper when you lock yourself in the kitchen for a few hours. come home and make sure you have all the right ingredients. ESPECIALLY, check to make sure your ricotta cheese isn't growing mold.
2) brown the meat in a pan. drain it (what a pain). add spaghetti sauce. simmer a while. dig through the cupboards for random spices. dump some of them into the sauce. mmmmm.
3) get out a big fucking pot and put a metric shitload of water in it. put it on the stove and figure out some way to waste the four years it will take to actually boil.
4) oh! what a great waste of time - squeeze the water out of the spinach you have been defrosting for the past hour. squeeze squeeze squeeze.
4a) "mmm, squishing spinach to get the water out. it's like having those squishy stress toys! yay! squish squish!"
4b) "mmm... my wrists are tired of this. and yet so much spinach is left! squish squish squish..."
4c) "mmmlrrghrumble. i wish someone would invent a spinach juicer. squish squish fucking squish squish oh i give up. i need a stress toy or something."
5) hey, wow, the water is boiling. put in the lasagna noodles and stir 'em for ten minutes. in the meantime you can chop some parsley up.
6) take out the noodles and put them on wax paper on a counter or table or something so they can drain out and all.
7) put all of the cheeses in a big bowl, with salt and pepper and eggs and all. If you were careful at step 1, you will not at this point open up the bucket of ricotta cheese to find it is MOLDY and start swearing. If you were not careful at step 1, send your boyfriend out to get you more ricotta cheese and proceed to the first layer of step 8).
8) put some sauce in the bottom of the 9x13 pan (What? You can't find your 9x13 pan? Send your boyfriend out to buy one of those too. Ok, that only happened last time). put some noodles on top of it. put a layer of cheese down. then put all of that spinach you squeezed on top of the cheese as a layer. then cover it with sauce and some lasagna noodles.
9) make two layers of cheese, sauce, and noodles.
10) go "oh my god, i'm out of sauce yet still have fuckloads of cheese..." and be all clever by putting some of the leftover cheese on top of the lasagna and then mixing it in with normal spaghetti sauce.
11) cover with foil and put the lasagna in the oven for 30 minutes.
12) 30 minutes later, take the foil off and put it in for 10 more minutes. be glad you planned an extra ten minutes before leaving for the potluck dinner because you misread the cooking time.
13) .... yay, you have lasagna. congratulations.
- package of lasagna noodles with recipe on back
- 3/4 pound ground meat
- big-ass tub of ricotta cheese
- 2 cups mozzarella cheese
- big-ass can of spaghetti sauce (i like the chunky garden style ones)
- package of frozen spinach
- 4 eggs
- some assorted other shit like spices, parsley, salt, pepper, etc
procedure:
1) go to campus for indian food lunch and pinball and dropping off film and hang out with people and play board games for a while because otherwise you will not be a happy camper when you lock yourself in the kitchen for a few hours. come home and make sure you have all the right ingredients. ESPECIALLY, check to make sure your ricotta cheese isn't growing mold.
2) brown the meat in a pan. drain it (what a pain). add spaghetti sauce. simmer a while. dig through the cupboards for random spices. dump some of them into the sauce. mmmmm.
3) get out a big fucking pot and put a metric shitload of water in it. put it on the stove and figure out some way to waste the four years it will take to actually boil.
4) oh! what a great waste of time - squeeze the water out of the spinach you have been defrosting for the past hour. squeeze squeeze squeeze.
4a) "mmm, squishing spinach to get the water out. it's like having those squishy stress toys! yay! squish squish!"
4b) "mmm... my wrists are tired of this. and yet so much spinach is left! squish squish squish..."
4c) "mmmlrrghrumble. i wish someone would invent a spinach juicer. squish squish fucking squish squish oh i give up. i need a stress toy or something."
5) hey, wow, the water is boiling. put in the lasagna noodles and stir 'em for ten minutes. in the meantime you can chop some parsley up.
6) take out the noodles and put them on wax paper on a counter or table or something so they can drain out and all.
7) put all of the cheeses in a big bowl, with salt and pepper and eggs and all. If you were careful at step 1, you will not at this point open up the bucket of ricotta cheese to find it is MOLDY and start swearing. If you were not careful at step 1, send your boyfriend out to get you more ricotta cheese and proceed to the first layer of step 8).
8) put some sauce in the bottom of the 9x13 pan (What? You can't find your 9x13 pan? Send your boyfriend out to buy one of those too. Ok, that only happened last time). put some noodles on top of it. put a layer of cheese down. then put all of that spinach you squeezed on top of the cheese as a layer. then cover it with sauce and some lasagna noodles.
9) make two layers of cheese, sauce, and noodles.
10) go "oh my god, i'm out of sauce yet still have fuckloads of cheese..." and be all clever by putting some of the leftover cheese on top of the lasagna and then mixing it in with normal spaghetti sauce.
11) cover with foil and put the lasagna in the oven for 30 minutes.
12) 30 minutes later, take the foil off and put it in for 10 more minutes. be glad you planned an extra ten minutes before leaving for the potluck dinner because you misread the cooking time.
13) .... yay, you have lasagna. congratulations.
