Song parody : "Doin' Lots of Carpentry"

[dr4b]

I posted this to the YPP forums, but eh, I always archive them here too. Though I have an awful feeling that this song in particular is going to be too obscure for most people on PP to appreciate, bleh.


Doin' Lots of Carpentry
From the musical "Jannie Get Yer Gunner"
(To the tune of "Doin' What Comes Nat'rally" from the musical "Annie Get Your Gun")


In my crew there's lots to do
With ships and shoppes and trading
But when it is up to me,
I'm doin' lots of carpentry (doin' lots of carpentry).
Folks like us would never fuss
With screwing up our rating
Still when we sail out to sea,
I'm doin' lots of carpentry (doin' lots of carpentry)

You don't need to know how to raise those sails
When you're out on a cutter and you hammer nails.
You don't have to jump on the pump to find
That the bilge water smells just like turpentine.
Just do carpentry (just do carpentry)!

I have a mate on Cnossos
Who's really not that sharp
His battles are all losses
'Cause he never gets on carp!

If you saw my captain Comp
You'd know that he's a dueller
Yet sometimes on board you'll see
Him doing lots of carpentry (doin' lots of carpentry)!
Bieyen likes to sail a lot
She thinks the ropes are cooler
But in case no sails are free
She's doing lots of carpentry (doin' lots of carpentry)!
Our crewmate Eyes, like many guys,
Will rock on any station
But to free up sails for Bie,
He's doing lots of carpentry (doin' lots of carpentry)!

You don't have to load every cannonball
Just to find out gunning drives you up a wall.
You don't have to place all the stars on the wheel
Just to know navigation isn't quite your deal.
Just do carpentry (just do carpentry)!

I cannot trust the swabbie
To fix holes in my ship
They do a lousy jobby
And the wooden boards all rip!

Silverdawg won't keep a log
Of all his crazy combos,
Masterpiece of ninety-three,
Doin' lots of carpentry (doin' lots of carpentry)!
Gigza's brig is really big
With flags of black and yellow,
Sailing's not her cup of tea,
She's doin' lots of carpentry (doin' lots of carpentry)!
And then there's Qwail who'll never fail
To be all nice and mellow,
On the top ten in XP,
He's done lots of carpentry (done a lot of carpentry)!

You don't have to learn to distill a brew
To find out that it's just a boring thing to do.
You don't have to press on your luck to drink
'Cause the puzzle's more random than you would think.
Just do carpentry!

I hate to nav at battle
My ship gets shot to bits
Like winter in Seattle
As the water drips and drips!

If I start to be a tart,
It's 'cause I love my hammer,
Don't whine when I ask to be
Doin' lots of car-pen-try!