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Recipe: Lazy Apple Pie
How to make Lazy Apple Pie (recipe sillified from Bayani Caes)
Ingredients:
- Some apples. Like 3 or 4 of them.
- 1 cup flour, 1 cup sugar, 1 stick of butter, and 1 egg. Great math, eh? :)
- Oh yeah, some cinnamon, too.
1. Get out a 9" pie pan, preferably a pyrex/glass one.
2. Clean the pie pan, wondering what the HECK that gunk in it is.
3. Peel, core, quarter, and chop up the apples, putting the slices into the pie pan as you go.
3a. Get out a better cutting board because yours is making the apples smell like onions.
4. Sprinkle the apples with cinnamon after each layer in the pan.
5. Get out a mixing bowl for the dough... and clean it out too. Ew.
6. Melt the butter. Try a minute in the microwave at power level 3.
7. Play some IIDX while waiting for the butter to melt.
8. Try another minute. Play more IIDX.
9. Add the sugar to the butter. Add the flour to the sugar and the butter. Add the egg to the flour and the sugar and the butter. You do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around...
10. Stir. Stir some more. Convince your fiance to stir it for you while you go upstairs and look up the recipe again, wondering if there should be a cup of water, too?
11. Come to the conclusion that you used bigger eggs in the past, and add a tiny bit of water, so it's more doughy.
12. Spread the dough on top of the apples.
13. Oh, you thought step 12 was THAT simple? HAHAHAHA. Really, what you end up doing is wetting your hands so the dough doesn't stick to them, and make little flat pieces of it and put them all over, THEN attempt to spread them out. If you are lucky, the dough you have will cover the whole pie pan.
14. Sprinkle some more cinnamon on the top. Bake at 350 degrees for somewhere between 40 minutes and 50 minutes, depending on when it bothers to turn brown.
15. Cool, serve with ice cream, and don't get too discouraged when it falls apart as you try to serve slices of it.
Ingredients:
- Some apples. Like 3 or 4 of them.
- 1 cup flour, 1 cup sugar, 1 stick of butter, and 1 egg. Great math, eh? :)
- Oh yeah, some cinnamon, too.
1. Get out a 9" pie pan, preferably a pyrex/glass one.
2. Clean the pie pan, wondering what the HECK that gunk in it is.
3. Peel, core, quarter, and chop up the apples, putting the slices into the pie pan as you go.
3a. Get out a better cutting board because yours is making the apples smell like onions.
4. Sprinkle the apples with cinnamon after each layer in the pan.
5. Get out a mixing bowl for the dough... and clean it out too. Ew.
6. Melt the butter. Try a minute in the microwave at power level 3.
7. Play some IIDX while waiting for the butter to melt.
8. Try another minute. Play more IIDX.
9. Add the sugar to the butter. Add the flour to the sugar and the butter. Add the egg to the flour and the sugar and the butter. You do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around...
10. Stir. Stir some more. Convince your fiance to stir it for you while you go upstairs and look up the recipe again, wondering if there should be a cup of water, too?
11. Come to the conclusion that you used bigger eggs in the past, and add a tiny bit of water, so it's more doughy.
12. Spread the dough on top of the apples.
13. Oh, you thought step 12 was THAT simple? HAHAHAHA. Really, what you end up doing is wetting your hands so the dough doesn't stick to them, and make little flat pieces of it and put them all over, THEN attempt to spread them out. If you are lucky, the dough you have will cover the whole pie pan.
14. Sprinkle some more cinnamon on the top. Bake at 350 degrees for somewhere between 40 minutes and 50 minutes, depending on when it bothers to turn brown.
15. Cool, serve with ice cream, and don't get too discouraged when it falls apart as you try to serve slices of it.
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6. Melt the butter. I use a large saucepan with the heat on low.
7. Think, "I'd like to play some GF while waiting for the butter to melt, but I haven't quite finished slicing the apples yet...."
8. Finish slicing the apples. Sing whatever garbled lyrics from "Heaven is a '57 Metallic Gray", at least the parts you can make out.
9-10. Add flour, sugar, and egg; stir between each one. Remember that it always turns out like this anyways.
11. Resist the temptation to start licking the pan. Not only do you actually need all that dough, but the pan's still hot.
12. Spread the dough on top of the apples.
13. Step 12 is a little tricky. I don't know why, but my dough always comes out a little liquidy, so it pours. Not well, but it does. And it usually won't cover the entire pan, usually enough to get within a half inch of the edges, with some hunks of apple sticking out intermittently. Don't worry, as it cooks, it will cover.
15. Cool, serve with ice cream. If you're really concerned about pieces falling out, use a pie crust from the baking aisle.
Whee, now I want to make another one of these. Or a pot roast. Ooh wait, bake a chicken! I should probably chew my way through these leftovers first thoug