Baseball filk (kinda) - Fugue for Vendors

[dr4b]

Heh heh. This is a first draft. Imagine, if you will, what it would be like if a bunch of vendors at a baseball game all came out to the top of the stairs at once and pretended they were actually in a musical...

(to the tune of "Fugue for Tinhorns" from Guys and Dolls)

BEER VENDOR:

I got yer drink right here
I think the answer's clear
You need a nice cold overpriced can of beer.
Bud lite, Bud lite, you know that it tastes so right
So drink three of them tonight, Bud lite, bud lite.

For just a buck or two
You need a tasty brew
I've got your Coors, Sam Adams, and Red Hook too
Ice cold, ice cold, it looks just like liquid gold
Can't count all the beer I've sold, ice cold, ice cold.

PEANUT VENDOR (starts singing in the middle of BEER VENDOR's verse):

I've also got some snacks
Peanuts and Cracker Jacks
They'll give you corn to crunch or nice shells to crack,
Four bucks, four bucks, watch out as the usher ducks,
'Cause my throwing really sucks, four bucks, four bucks

I gotcher baseball food
You know you're in the mood
To eat some hotdogs, sausages, freshly stewed
Foot long, foot long, just listen to my old song,
you know that you can't go wrong, foot long, foot long.

SODA VENDOR (starts in the middle of both):

You want your thirst to stop?
You need some soda pop
It even comes in this souvenir plastic cup.
And for your family
You buy another three
Or all your kids will whine that they are thirsty
It's not my fault it's hot
But with the drinks I've got
I'm pretty sure that they will all hit the spot,


TOGETHER:
Cracker Jack, Soda pop, Can of beer...
I got your food... right... here!

Comments

[tesposit.livejournal.com]

Ah, very clever. I liked that song from Guys and Dolls when we did that in college.

[doteatop.livejournal.com]

Number me among your admirers.

[piratelemur.livejournal.com]

Genius! One of my favorite filks of this is from Forbidden Broadway--"Fugue for Scalpers"

"For just a service fee, see Miz-er-a-buh-lee,
You know there ain't good seats 'til '93.
Front row! Front row!
In back of the band, front row!
But if the real owners show,
You'll have to go.

I got a show right here, for Phantom in the rear
You can see real fine through the chandelier . . . "

I can't remember the rest, but as the date above suggests, it's been a while.

[dr4b]

I got your show right here, it won a prize last year, about a chinese communist geisha queer...

Yeah, so here's the sad part -- I actually don't own a copy of the Guys and Dolls soundtrack, nor have I heard the original more than once or twice -- I was actually using the tune and cadence as I know it from Fugue for Scalpers when writing this :)

Forbidden Broadway Volume 2 is actually my favorite of all the FB's, mostly because it also contains "Into the Words", "Patti LuPone" (I got the tape the year I was in Anything Goes), and "Madonna's Brain". Sadly, when I was in NYC a week or two ago, I thought it'd be cool to see the current Forbidden Broadway, except that I'm not familiar enough with the current shows to make it worthwhile.

[piratelemur.livejournal.com]

That's so cool! You know the awesomeness that is FB vol. 2! I was at the HEIGHT of my musical theatre geekery at that point, and listened to it over and over and over . . . and then I fell out of the theater habit and . . . yeah.

I've still been known to launch into a few of them every once in a while.

When I fiiiii-re myyyyyyy machiiiiiiiiiine-gun-liiiiiiiiike vibraaaaaatooooooo. . . .

[nickjong.livejournal.com]

I ♥ u!

[dr4b]

Oh, you just wait until I write "When you're a Met", a la West Side Story.

Although, um, the next song up is going to be to "Belle" from Beauty and the Beast.

[jeliza]

I *really* like this one.